“Stay positive.” It is a phrase many people living with Sickle Cell Disease will have heard at some point. It may come from a relative, friend, colleague or someone in our faith community. Usually, it is said with good intentions.The person wants to encourage us. They want us to believe that tomorrow will be better than today.There is nothing wrong with hope. I believe hope is essential when living with a lifelong condition such as SCD. But there is a difference between genuine hope and what has come to be called toxic positivity.Toxic positivity occurs when we feel pressured to remain positive regardless of what we are experiencing. It can leave little room for fear, anger, disappointment, exhaustion or grief. For someone living with SCD, that can become another burden to carry.When positivity becomes pressureImagine being in severe pain and hearing, “Just think positively.” Or having another hospital admission and being told, “At least it isn’t worse.”Perhaps you have had to cancel an important event because of a crisis, missed work, fallen behind with your studies or watched other people continue with their lives while illness interrupts yours. Then somebody tells you, “You just have to stay strong.”They may mean well. But sometimes, what the person living with SCD hears is: What does spiritual maturity look like? For those of us who have faith, this conversation becomes even more complicated.When illness comes, we may hear: “Have more faith.” “Don’t speak negatively.” “Claim your healing.” “Just keep praying.”Prayer and faith can be enormous sources of strength. They can sustain us through experiences that are difficult to explain to someone who has never lived with chronic illness.But faith should not require pretending.The Bible itself does not hide human suffering. The Psalms contain expressions of fear, loneliness, grief and desperation alongside declarations of faith. Job questioned what was happening to him. Jesus wept.These were not signs that faith had disappeared.Perhaps spiritual maturity is not about suppressing difficult emotions. Perhaps it is being able to bring those emotions honestly before God.Sometimes faith sounds triumphant. At other times, faith may simply say: “This is very difficult, but I am still holding on.” That is faith too.When everybody expects you to cope, admitting that you are struggling can become difficult. You may begin protecting other people from the reality of your illness. You say, “I’m fine,” when you are exhausted. You smile because explaining everything feels like too much work. You attend an event when your body is telling you to rest.You reassure everybody else while privately wondering how much longer you can keep going.There should be room for vulnerability in SCD. Being resilient does not mean being unaffected.Hope and pain can exist togetherOne lesson chronic illness teaches us is that apparently contradictory emotions can exist at the same time.I can be grateful for my life and still be frustrated by what SCD has taken from me.I can believe tomorrow will be better and still admit that today is difficult.I can have faith and still have questions.I can laugh with friends and later cry because I am tired.None of these things cancels the other. This is where I believe genuine positivity differs from toxic positivity.Related News10 bodies recovered after toxic fume incident in RiversTrafficker lures, sells 15 Nasarawa childrenNSCDC arrests personnel over claims of sale of service riflesGenuine positivity makes room for reality. It does not tell someone that they should not feel sad. It sits beside them in their sadness while reminding them that sadness is not necessarily the end of their story.Sometimes listening is enoughWhen someone tells us that they are struggling, our instinct is often to fix it. But not every painful experience has an immediate solution.Instead of saying, “Stay positive,” perhaps we could say:“Tell me how you are feeling.” Instead of, “Don’t worry,” we could ask: “What are you worried about?”Instead of immediately telling someone how strong they are, we might say: “I’m here. Tell me what you need.”Positivity should never replace actionThere is another reason we need to be careful about toxic positivity. Sometimes a problem needs more than encouragement.If someone with SCD is repeatedly experiencing poor healthcare, telling them to remain positive does not address the problem.If someone is emotionally overwhelmed, they may need appropriate psychological or professional support, as well as encouragement and prayer.If pain is changing, worsening or becoming difficult to manage, it needs appropriate medical attention.Hope should never prevent us from asking, “What needs to change?”Sometimes faith means praying. Sometimes it means resting. Sometimes it means speaking up. Sometimes it means accepting help. And sometimes it means going back to the doctor and saying, “Something is not right.”A different understanding of strengthPerhaps we need to redefine what strength looks like for people living with SCD.Strength is not always smiling. Sometimes strength is saying, “I am tired.” Sometimes it is asking someone to help. Sometimes it is setting a boundary.Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. The person wants to encourage us. They want us to believe that tomorrow will be better than today.There is nothing wrong with hope. I believe hope is essential when living with a lifelong condition such as SCD. But there is a difference between genuine hope and what has come to be called toxic positivity.Toxic positivity occurs when we feel pressured to remain positive regardless of what we are experiencing. It can leave little room for fear, anger, disappointment, exhaustion or grief. For someone living with SCD, that can become another burden to carry.When positivity becomes pressureImagine being in severe pain and hearing, “Just think positively.” Or having another hospital admission and being told, “At least it isn’t worse.”Perhaps you have had to cancel an important event because of a crisis, missed work, fallen behind with your studies or watched other people continue with their lives while illness interrupts yours. Then somebody tells you, “You just have to stay strong.”They may mean well. But sometimes, what the person living with SCD hears is: What does spiritual maturity look like? For those of us who have faith, this conversation becomes even more complicated.When illness comes, we may hear: “Have more faith.” “Don’t speak negatively.” “Claim your healing.” “Just keep praying.”Prayer and faith can be enormous sources of strength. They can sustain us through experiences that are difficult to explain to someone who has never lived with chronic illness.But faith should not require pretending.The Bible itself does not hide human suffering. The Psalms contain expressions of fear, loneliness, grief and desperation alongside declarations of faith. Job questioned what was happening to him. Jesus wept.These were not signs that faith had disappeared.Perhaps spiritual maturity is not about suppressing difficult emotions. Perhaps it is being able to bring those emotions honestly before God.Sometimes faith sounds triumphant. At other times, faith may simply say: “This is very difficult, but I am still holding on.” That is faith too.When everybody expects you to cope, admitting that you are struggling can become difficult. You may begin protecting other people from the reality of your illness. You say, “I’m fine,” when you are exhausted. You smile because explaining everything feels like too much work. You attend an event when your body is telling you to rest.You reassure everybody else while privately wondering how much longer you can keep going.There should be room for vulnerability in SCD. Being resilient does not mean being unaffected.Hope and pain can exist togetherOne lesson chronic illness teaches us is that apparently contradictory emotions can exist at the same time.I can be grateful for my life and still be frustrated by what SCD has taken from me.I can believe tomorrow will be better and still admit that today is difficult.I can have faith and still have questions.I can laugh with friends and later cry because I am tired.None of these things cancels the other. This is where I believe genuine positivity differs from toxic positivity.Related News10 bodies recovered after toxic fume incident in RiversTrafficker lures, sells 15 Nasarawa childrenNSCDC arrests personnel over claims of sale of service riflesGenuine positivity makes room for reality. It does not tell someone that they should not feel sad. It sits beside them in their sadness while reminding them that sadness is not necessarily the end of their story.Sometimes listening is enoughWhen someone tells us that they are struggling, our instinct is often to fix it. But not every painful experience has an immediate solution.Instead of saying, “Stay positive,” perhaps we could say:“Tell me how you are feeling.” Instead of, “Don’t worry,” we could ask: “What are you worried about?”Instead of immediately telling someone how strong they are, we might say: “I’m here. Tell me what you need.”Positivity should never replace actionThere is another reason we need to be careful about toxic positivity. Sometimes a problem needs more than encouragement.If someone with SCD is repeatedly experiencing poor healthcare, telling them to remain positive does not address the problem.If someone is emotionally overwhelmed, they may need appropriate psychological or professional support, as well as encouragement and prayer.If pain is changing, worsening or becoming difficult to manage, it needs appropriate medical attention.Hope should never prevent us from asking, “What needs to change?”Sometimes faith means praying. Sometimes it means resting. Sometimes it means speaking up. Sometimes it means accepting help. And sometimes it means going back to the doctor and saying, “Something is not right.”A different understanding of strengthPerhaps we need to redefine what strength looks like for people living with SCD.Strength is not always smiling. Sometimes strength is saying, “I am tired.” Sometimes it is asking someone to help. Sometimes it is setting a boundary.Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. There is nothing wrong with hope. I believe hope is essential when living with a lifelong condition such as SCD. But there is a difference between genuine hope and what has come to be called toxic positivity.Toxic positivity occurs when we feel pressured to remain positive regardless of what we are experiencing. It can leave little room for fear, anger, disappointment, exhaustion or grief. For someone living with SCD, that can become another burden to carry.When positivity becomes pressureImagine being in severe pain and hearing, “Just think positively.” Or having another hospital admission and being told, “At least it isn’t worse.”Perhaps you have had to cancel an important event because of a crisis, missed work, fallen behind with your studies or watched other people continue with their lives while illness interrupts yours. Then somebody tells you, “You just have to stay strong.”They may mean well. But sometimes, what the person living with SCD hears is: What does spiritual maturity look like? For those of us who have faith, this conversation becomes even more complicated.When illness comes, we may hear: “Have more faith.” “Don’t speak negatively.” “Claim your healing.” “Just keep praying.”Prayer and faith can be enormous sources of strength. They can sustain us through experiences that are difficult to explain to someone who has never lived with chronic illness.But faith should not require pretending.The Bible itself does not hide human suffering. The Psalms contain expressions of fear, loneliness, grief and desperation alongside declarations of faith. Job questioned what was happening to him. Jesus wept.These were not signs that faith had disappeared.Perhaps spiritual maturity is not about suppressing difficult emotions. Perhaps it is being able to bring those emotions honestly before God.Sometimes faith sounds triumphant. At other times, faith may simply say: “This is very difficult, but I am still holding on.” That is faith too.When everybody expects you to cope, admitting that you are struggling can become difficult. You may begin protecting other people from the reality of your illness. You say, “I’m fine,” when you are exhausted. You smile because explaining everything feels like too much work. You attend an event when your body is telling you to rest.You reassure everybody else while privately wondering how much longer you can keep going.There should be room for vulnerability in SCD. Being resilient does not mean being unaffected.Hope and pain can exist togetherOne lesson chronic illness teaches us is that apparently contradictory emotions can exist at the same time.I can be grateful for my life and still be frustrated by what SCD has taken from me.I can believe tomorrow will be better and still admit that today is difficult.I can have faith and still have questions.I can laugh with friends and later cry because I am tired.None of these things cancels the other. This is where I believe genuine positivity differs from toxic positivity.Related News10 bodies recovered after toxic fume incident in RiversTrafficker lures, sells 15 Nasarawa childrenNSCDC arrests personnel over claims of sale of service riflesGenuine positivity makes room for reality. It does not tell someone that they should not feel sad. It sits beside them in their sadness while reminding them that sadness is not necessarily the end of their story.Sometimes listening is enoughWhen someone tells us that they are struggling, our instinct is often to fix it. But not every painful experience has an immediate solution.Instead of saying, “Stay positive,” perhaps we could say:“Tell me how you are feeling.” Instead of, “Don’t worry,” we could ask: “What are you worried about?”Instead of immediately telling someone how strong they are, we might say: “I’m here. Tell me what you need.”Positivity should never replace actionThere is another reason we need to be careful about toxic positivity. Sometimes a problem needs more than encouragement.If someone with SCD is repeatedly experiencing poor healthcare, telling them to remain positive does not address the problem.If someone is emotionally overwhelmed, they may need appropriate psychological or professional support, as well as encouragement and prayer.If pain is changing, worsening or becoming difficult to manage, it needs appropriate medical attention.Hope should never prevent us from asking, “What needs to change?”Sometimes faith means praying. Sometimes it means resting. Sometimes it means speaking up. Sometimes it means accepting help. And sometimes it means going back to the doctor and saying, “Something is not right.”A different understanding of strengthPerhaps we need to redefine what strength looks like for people living with SCD.Strength is not always smiling. Sometimes strength is saying, “I am tired.” Sometimes it is asking someone to help. Sometimes it is setting a boundary.Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. Toxic positivity occurs when we feel pressured to remain positive regardless of what we are experiencing. It can leave little room for fear, anger, disappointment, exhaustion or grief. For someone living with SCD, that can become another burden to carry.When positivity becomes pressureImagine being in severe pain and hearing, “Just think positively.” Or having another hospital admission and being told, “At least it isn’t worse.”Perhaps you have had to cancel an important event because of a crisis, missed work, fallen behind with your studies or watched other people continue with their lives while illness interrupts yours. Then somebody tells you, “You just have to stay strong.”They may mean well. But sometimes, what the person living with SCD hears is: What does spiritual maturity look like? For those of us who have faith, this conversation becomes even more complicated.When illness comes, we may hear: “Have more faith.” “Don’t speak negatively.” “Claim your healing.” “Just keep praying.”Prayer and faith can be enormous sources of strength. They can sustain us through experiences that are difficult to explain to someone who has never lived with chronic illness.But faith should not require pretending.The Bible itself does not hide human suffering. The Psalms contain expressions of fear, loneliness, grief and desperation alongside declarations of faith. Job questioned what was happening to him. Jesus wept.These were not signs that faith had disappeared.Perhaps spiritual maturity is not about suppressing difficult emotions. Perhaps it is being able to bring those emotions honestly before God.Sometimes faith sounds triumphant. At other times, faith may simply say: “This is very difficult, but I am still holding on.” That is faith too.When everybody expects you to cope, admitting that you are struggling can become difficult. You may begin protecting other people from the reality of your illness. You say, “I’m fine,” when you are exhausted. You smile because explaining everything feels like too much work. You attend an event when your body is telling you to rest.You reassure everybody else while privately wondering how much longer you can keep going.There should be room for vulnerability in SCD. Being resilient does not mean being unaffected.Hope and pain can exist togetherOne lesson chronic illness teaches us is that apparently contradictory emotions can exist at the same time.I can be grateful for my life and still be frustrated by what SCD has taken from me.I can believe tomorrow will be better and still admit that today is difficult.I can have faith and still have questions.I can laugh with friends and later cry because I am tired.None of these things cancels the other. This is where I believe genuine positivity differs from toxic positivity.Related News10 bodies recovered after toxic fume incident in RiversTrafficker lures, sells 15 Nasarawa childrenNSCDC arrests personnel over claims of sale of service riflesGenuine positivity makes room for reality. It does not tell someone that they should not feel sad. It sits beside them in their sadness while reminding them that sadness is not necessarily the end of their story.Sometimes listening is enoughWhen someone tells us that they are struggling, our instinct is often to fix it. But not every painful experience has an immediate solution.Instead of saying, “Stay positive,” perhaps we could say:“Tell me how you are feeling.” Instead of, “Don’t worry,” we could ask: “What are you worried about?”Instead of immediately telling someone how strong they are, we might say: “I’m here. Tell me what you need.”Positivity should never replace actionThere is another reason we need to be careful about toxic positivity. Sometimes a problem needs more than encouragement.If someone with SCD is repeatedly experiencing poor healthcare, telling them to remain positive does not address the problem.If someone is emotionally overwhelmed, they may need appropriate psychological or professional support, as well as encouragement and prayer.If pain is changing, worsening or becoming difficult to manage, it needs appropriate medical attention.Hope should never prevent us from asking, “What needs to change?”Sometimes faith means praying. Sometimes it means resting. Sometimes it means speaking up. Sometimes it means accepting help. And sometimes it means going back to the doctor and saying, “Something is not right.”A different understanding of strengthPerhaps we need to redefine what strength looks like for people living with SCD.Strength is not always smiling. Sometimes strength is saying, “I am tired.” Sometimes it is asking someone to help. Sometimes it is setting a boundary.Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. When positivity becomes pressureImagine being in severe pain and hearing, “Just think positively.” Or having another hospital admission and being told, “At least it isn’t worse.”Perhaps you have had to cancel an important event because of a crisis, missed work, fallen behind with your studies or watched other people continue with their lives while illness interrupts yours. Then somebody tells you, “You just have to stay strong.”They may mean well. But sometimes, what the person living with SCD hears is: What does spiritual maturity look like? For those of us who have faith, this conversation becomes even more complicated.When illness comes, we may hear: “Have more faith.” “Don’t speak negatively.” “Claim your healing.” “Just keep praying.”Prayer and faith can be enormous sources of strength. They can sustain us through experiences that are difficult to explain to someone who has never lived with chronic illness.But faith should not require pretending.The Bible itself does not hide human suffering. The Psalms contain expressions of fear, loneliness, grief and desperation alongside declarations of faith. Job questioned what was happening to him. Jesus wept.These were not signs that faith had disappeared.Perhaps spiritual maturity is not about suppressing difficult emotions. Perhaps it is being able to bring those emotions honestly before God.Sometimes faith sounds triumphant. At other times, faith may simply say: “This is very difficult, but I am still holding on.” That is faith too.When everybody expects you to cope, admitting that you are struggling can become difficult. You may begin protecting other people from the reality of your illness. You say, “I’m fine,” when you are exhausted. You smile because explaining everything feels like too much work. You attend an event when your body is telling you to rest.You reassure everybody else while privately wondering how much longer you can keep going.There should be room for vulnerability in SCD. Being resilient does not mean being unaffected.Hope and pain can exist togetherOne lesson chronic illness teaches us is that apparently contradictory emotions can exist at the same time.I can be grateful for my life and still be frustrated by what SCD has taken from me.I can believe tomorrow will be better and still admit that today is difficult.I can have faith and still have questions.I can laugh with friends and later cry because I am tired.None of these things cancels the other. This is where I believe genuine positivity differs from toxic positivity.Related News10 bodies recovered after toxic fume incident in RiversTrafficker lures, sells 15 Nasarawa childrenNSCDC arrests personnel over claims of sale of service riflesGenuine positivity makes room for reality. It does not tell someone that they should not feel sad. It sits beside them in their sadness while reminding them that sadness is not necessarily the end of their story.Sometimes listening is enoughWhen someone tells us that they are struggling, our instinct is often to fix it. But not every painful experience has an immediate solution.Instead of saying, “Stay positive,” perhaps we could say:“Tell me how you are feeling.” Instead of, “Don’t worry,” we could ask: “What are you worried about?”Instead of immediately telling someone how strong they are, we might say: “I’m here. Tell me what you need.”Positivity should never replace actionThere is another reason we need to be careful about toxic positivity. Sometimes a problem needs more than encouragement.If someone with SCD is repeatedly experiencing poor healthcare, telling them to remain positive does not address the problem.If someone is emotionally overwhelmed, they may need appropriate psychological or professional support, as well as encouragement and prayer.If pain is changing, worsening or becoming difficult to manage, it needs appropriate medical attention.Hope should never prevent us from asking, “What needs to change?”Sometimes faith means praying. Sometimes it means resting. Sometimes it means speaking up. Sometimes it means accepting help. And sometimes it means going back to the doctor and saying, “Something is not right.”A different understanding of strengthPerhaps we need to redefine what strength looks like for people living with SCD.Strength is not always smiling. Sometimes strength is saying, “I am tired.” Sometimes it is asking someone to help. Sometimes it is setting a boundary.Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. Imagine being in severe pain and hearing, “Just think positively.” Or having another hospital admission and being told, “At least it isn’t worse.”Perhaps you have had to cancel an important event because of a crisis, missed work, fallen behind with your studies or watched other people continue with their lives while illness interrupts yours. Then somebody tells you, “You just have to stay strong.”They may mean well. But sometimes, what the person living with SCD hears is: What does spiritual maturity look like? For those of us who have faith, this conversation becomes even more complicated.When illness comes, we may hear: “Have more faith.” “Don’t speak negatively.” “Claim your healing.” “Just keep praying.”Prayer and faith can be enormous sources of strength. They can sustain us through experiences that are difficult to explain to someone who has never lived with chronic illness.But faith should not require pretending.The Bible itself does not hide human suffering. The Psalms contain expressions of fear, loneliness, grief and desperation alongside declarations of faith. Job questioned what was happening to him. Jesus wept.These were not signs that faith had disappeared.Perhaps spiritual maturity is not about suppressing difficult emotions. Perhaps it is being able to bring those emotions honestly before God.Sometimes faith sounds triumphant. At other times, faith may simply say: “This is very difficult, but I am still holding on.” That is faith too.When everybody expects you to cope, admitting that you are struggling can become difficult. You may begin protecting other people from the reality of your illness. You say, “I’m fine,” when you are exhausted. You smile because explaining everything feels like too much work. You attend an event when your body is telling you to rest.You reassure everybody else while privately wondering how much longer you can keep going.There should be room for vulnerability in SCD. Being resilient does not mean being unaffected.Hope and pain can exist togetherOne lesson chronic illness teaches us is that apparently contradictory emotions can exist at the same time.I can be grateful for my life and still be frustrated by what SCD has taken from me.I can believe tomorrow will be better and still admit that today is difficult.I can have faith and still have questions.I can laugh with friends and later cry because I am tired.None of these things cancels the other. This is where I believe genuine positivity differs from toxic positivity.Related News10 bodies recovered after toxic fume incident in RiversTrafficker lures, sells 15 Nasarawa childrenNSCDC arrests personnel over claims of sale of service riflesGenuine positivity makes room for reality. It does not tell someone that they should not feel sad. It sits beside them in their sadness while reminding them that sadness is not necessarily the end of their story.Sometimes listening is enoughWhen someone tells us that they are struggling, our instinct is often to fix it. But not every painful experience has an immediate solution.Instead of saying, “Stay positive,” perhaps we could say:“Tell me how you are feeling.” Instead of, “Don’t worry,” we could ask: “What are you worried about?”Instead of immediately telling someone how strong they are, we might say: “I’m here. Tell me what you need.”Positivity should never replace actionThere is another reason we need to be careful about toxic positivity. Sometimes a problem needs more than encouragement.If someone with SCD is repeatedly experiencing poor healthcare, telling them to remain positive does not address the problem.If someone is emotionally overwhelmed, they may need appropriate psychological or professional support, as well as encouragement and prayer.If pain is changing, worsening or becoming difficult to manage, it needs appropriate medical attention.Hope should never prevent us from asking, “What needs to change?”Sometimes faith means praying. Sometimes it means resting. Sometimes it means speaking up. Sometimes it means accepting help. And sometimes it means going back to the doctor and saying, “Something is not right.”A different understanding of strengthPerhaps we need to redefine what strength looks like for people living with SCD.Strength is not always smiling. Sometimes strength is saying, “I am tired.” Sometimes it is asking someone to help. Sometimes it is setting a boundary.Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. Perhaps you have had to cancel an important event because of a crisis, missed work, fallen behind with your studies or watched other people continue with their lives while illness interrupts yours. Then somebody tells you, “You just have to stay strong.”They may mean well. But sometimes, what the person living with SCD hears is: What does spiritual maturity look like? For those of us who have faith, this conversation becomes even more complicated.When illness comes, we may hear: “Have more faith.” “Don’t speak negatively.” “Claim your healing.” “Just keep praying.”Prayer and faith can be enormous sources of strength. They can sustain us through experiences that are difficult to explain to someone who has never lived with chronic illness.But faith should not require pretending.The Bible itself does not hide human suffering. The Psalms contain expressions of fear, loneliness, grief and desperation alongside declarations of faith. Job questioned what was happening to him. Jesus wept.These were not signs that faith had disappeared.Perhaps spiritual maturity is not about suppressing difficult emotions. Perhaps it is being able to bring those emotions honestly before God.Sometimes faith sounds triumphant. At other times, faith may simply say: “This is very difficult, but I am still holding on.” That is faith too.When everybody expects you to cope, admitting that you are struggling can become difficult. You may begin protecting other people from the reality of your illness. You say, “I’m fine,” when you are exhausted. You smile because explaining everything feels like too much work. You attend an event when your body is telling you to rest.You reassure everybody else while privately wondering how much longer you can keep going.There should be room for vulnerability in SCD. Being resilient does not mean being unaffected.Hope and pain can exist togetherOne lesson chronic illness teaches us is that apparently contradictory emotions can exist at the same time.I can be grateful for my life and still be frustrated by what SCD has taken from me.I can believe tomorrow will be better and still admit that today is difficult.I can have faith and still have questions.I can laugh with friends and later cry because I am tired.None of these things cancels the other. This is where I believe genuine positivity differs from toxic positivity.Related News10 bodies recovered after toxic fume incident in RiversTrafficker lures, sells 15 Nasarawa childrenNSCDC arrests personnel over claims of sale of service riflesGenuine positivity makes room for reality. It does not tell someone that they should not feel sad. It sits beside them in their sadness while reminding them that sadness is not necessarily the end of their story.Sometimes listening is enoughWhen someone tells us that they are struggling, our instinct is often to fix it. But not every painful experience has an immediate solution.Instead of saying, “Stay positive,” perhaps we could say:“Tell me how you are feeling.” Instead of, “Don’t worry,” we could ask: “What are you worried about?”Instead of immediately telling someone how strong they are, we might say: “I’m here. Tell me what you need.”Positivity should never replace actionThere is another reason we need to be careful about toxic positivity. Sometimes a problem needs more than encouragement.If someone with SCD is repeatedly experiencing poor healthcare, telling them to remain positive does not address the problem.If someone is emotionally overwhelmed, they may need appropriate psychological or professional support, as well as encouragement and prayer.If pain is changing, worsening or becoming difficult to manage, it needs appropriate medical attention.Hope should never prevent us from asking, “What needs to change?”Sometimes faith means praying. Sometimes it means resting. Sometimes it means speaking up. Sometimes it means accepting help. And sometimes it means going back to the doctor and saying, “Something is not right.”A different understanding of strengthPerhaps we need to redefine what strength looks like for people living with SCD.Strength is not always smiling. Sometimes strength is saying, “I am tired.” Sometimes it is asking someone to help. Sometimes it is setting a boundary.Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. They may mean well. But sometimes, what the person living with SCD hears is: What does spiritual maturity look like? For those of us who have faith, this conversation becomes even more complicated.When illness comes, we may hear: “Have more faith.” “Don’t speak negatively.” “Claim your healing.” “Just keep praying.”Prayer and faith can be enormous sources of strength. They can sustain us through experiences that are difficult to explain to someone who has never lived with chronic illness.But faith should not require pretending.The Bible itself does not hide human suffering. The Psalms contain expressions of fear, loneliness, grief and desperation alongside declarations of faith. Job questioned what was happening to him. Jesus wept.These were not signs that faith had disappeared.Perhaps spiritual maturity is not about suppressing difficult emotions. Perhaps it is being able to bring those emotions honestly before God.Sometimes faith sounds triumphant. At other times, faith may simply say: “This is very difficult, but I am still holding on.” That is faith too.When everybody expects you to cope, admitting that you are struggling can become difficult. You may begin protecting other people from the reality of your illness. You say, “I’m fine,” when you are exhausted. You smile because explaining everything feels like too much work. You attend an event when your body is telling you to rest.You reassure everybody else while privately wondering how much longer you can keep going.There should be room for vulnerability in SCD. Being resilient does not mean being unaffected.Hope and pain can exist togetherOne lesson chronic illness teaches us is that apparently contradictory emotions can exist at the same time.I can be grateful for my life and still be frustrated by what SCD has taken from me.I can believe tomorrow will be better and still admit that today is difficult.I can have faith and still have questions.I can laugh with friends and later cry because I am tired.None of these things cancels the other. This is where I believe genuine positivity differs from toxic positivity.Related News10 bodies recovered after toxic fume incident in RiversTrafficker lures, sells 15 Nasarawa childrenNSCDC arrests personnel over claims of sale of service riflesGenuine positivity makes room for reality. It does not tell someone that they should not feel sad. It sits beside them in their sadness while reminding them that sadness is not necessarily the end of their story.Sometimes listening is enoughWhen someone tells us that they are struggling, our instinct is often to fix it. But not every painful experience has an immediate solution.Instead of saying, “Stay positive,” perhaps we could say:“Tell me how you are feeling.” Instead of, “Don’t worry,” we could ask: “What are you worried about?”Instead of immediately telling someone how strong they are, we might say: “I’m here. Tell me what you need.”Positivity should never replace actionThere is another reason we need to be careful about toxic positivity. Sometimes a problem needs more than encouragement.If someone with SCD is repeatedly experiencing poor healthcare, telling them to remain positive does not address the problem.If someone is emotionally overwhelmed, they may need appropriate psychological or professional support, as well as encouragement and prayer.If pain is changing, worsening or becoming difficult to manage, it needs appropriate medical attention.Hope should never prevent us from asking, “What needs to change?”Sometimes faith means praying. Sometimes it means resting. Sometimes it means speaking up. Sometimes it means accepting help. And sometimes it means going back to the doctor and saying, “Something is not right.”A different understanding of strengthPerhaps we need to redefine what strength looks like for people living with SCD.Strength is not always smiling. Sometimes strength is saying, “I am tired.” Sometimes it is asking someone to help. Sometimes it is setting a boundary.Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. When illness comes, we may hear: “Have more faith.” “Don’t speak negatively.” “Claim your healing.” “Just keep praying.”Prayer and faith can be enormous sources of strength. They can sustain us through experiences that are difficult to explain to someone who has never lived with chronic illness.But faith should not require pretending.The Bible itself does not hide human suffering. The Psalms contain expressions of fear, loneliness, grief and desperation alongside declarations of faith. Job questioned what was happening to him. Jesus wept.These were not signs that faith had disappeared.Perhaps spiritual maturity is not about suppressing difficult emotions. Perhaps it is being able to bring those emotions honestly before God.Sometimes faith sounds triumphant. At other times, faith may simply say: “This is very difficult, but I am still holding on.” That is faith too.When everybody expects you to cope, admitting that you are struggling can become difficult. You may begin protecting other people from the reality of your illness. You say, “I’m fine,” when you are exhausted. You smile because explaining everything feels like too much work. You attend an event when your body is telling you to rest.You reassure everybody else while privately wondering how much longer you can keep going.There should be room for vulnerability in SCD. Being resilient does not mean being unaffected.Hope and pain can exist togetherOne lesson chronic illness teaches us is that apparently contradictory emotions can exist at the same time.I can be grateful for my life and still be frustrated by what SCD has taken from me.I can believe tomorrow will be better and still admit that today is difficult.I can have faith and still have questions.I can laugh with friends and later cry because I am tired.None of these things cancels the other. This is where I believe genuine positivity differs from toxic positivity.Related News10 bodies recovered after toxic fume incident in RiversTrafficker lures, sells 15 Nasarawa childrenNSCDC arrests personnel over claims of sale of service riflesGenuine positivity makes room for reality. It does not tell someone that they should not feel sad. It sits beside them in their sadness while reminding them that sadness is not necessarily the end of their story.Sometimes listening is enoughWhen someone tells us that they are struggling, our instinct is often to fix it. But not every painful experience has an immediate solution.Instead of saying, “Stay positive,” perhaps we could say:“Tell me how you are feeling.” Instead of, “Don’t worry,” we could ask: “What are you worried about?”Instead of immediately telling someone how strong they are, we might say: “I’m here. Tell me what you need.”Positivity should never replace actionThere is another reason we need to be careful about toxic positivity. Sometimes a problem needs more than encouragement.If someone with SCD is repeatedly experiencing poor healthcare, telling them to remain positive does not address the problem.If someone is emotionally overwhelmed, they may need appropriate psychological or professional support, as well as encouragement and prayer.If pain is changing, worsening or becoming difficult to manage, it needs appropriate medical attention.Hope should never prevent us from asking, “What needs to change?”Sometimes faith means praying. Sometimes it means resting. Sometimes it means speaking up. Sometimes it means accepting help. And sometimes it means going back to the doctor and saying, “Something is not right.”A different understanding of strengthPerhaps we need to redefine what strength looks like for people living with SCD.Strength is not always smiling. Sometimes strength is saying, “I am tired.” Sometimes it is asking someone to help. Sometimes it is setting a boundary.Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. Prayer and faith can be enormous sources of strength. They can sustain us through experiences that are difficult to explain to someone who has never lived with chronic illness.But faith should not require pretending.The Bible itself does not hide human suffering. The Psalms contain expressions of fear, loneliness, grief and desperation alongside declarations of faith. Job questioned what was happening to him. Jesus wept.These were not signs that faith had disappeared.Perhaps spiritual maturity is not about suppressing difficult emotions. Perhaps it is being able to bring those emotions honestly before God.Sometimes faith sounds triumphant. At other times, faith may simply say: “This is very difficult, but I am still holding on.” That is faith too.When everybody expects you to cope, admitting that you are struggling can become difficult. You may begin protecting other people from the reality of your illness. You say, “I’m fine,” when you are exhausted. You smile because explaining everything feels like too much work. You attend an event when your body is telling you to rest.You reassure everybody else while privately wondering how much longer you can keep going.There should be room for vulnerability in SCD. Being resilient does not mean being unaffected.Hope and pain can exist togetherOne lesson chronic illness teaches us is that apparently contradictory emotions can exist at the same time.I can be grateful for my life and still be frustrated by what SCD has taken from me.I can believe tomorrow will be better and still admit that today is difficult.I can have faith and still have questions.I can laugh with friends and later cry because I am tired.None of these things cancels the other. This is where I believe genuine positivity differs from toxic positivity.Related News10 bodies recovered after toxic fume incident in RiversTrafficker lures, sells 15 Nasarawa childrenNSCDC arrests personnel over claims of sale of service riflesGenuine positivity makes room for reality. It does not tell someone that they should not feel sad. It sits beside them in their sadness while reminding them that sadness is not necessarily the end of their story.Sometimes listening is enoughWhen someone tells us that they are struggling, our instinct is often to fix it. But not every painful experience has an immediate solution.Instead of saying, “Stay positive,” perhaps we could say:“Tell me how you are feeling.” Instead of, “Don’t worry,” we could ask: “What are you worried about?”Instead of immediately telling someone how strong they are, we might say: “I’m here. Tell me what you need.”Positivity should never replace actionThere is another reason we need to be careful about toxic positivity. Sometimes a problem needs more than encouragement.If someone with SCD is repeatedly experiencing poor healthcare, telling them to remain positive does not address the problem.If someone is emotionally overwhelmed, they may need appropriate psychological or professional support, as well as encouragement and prayer.If pain is changing, worsening or becoming difficult to manage, it needs appropriate medical attention.Hope should never prevent us from asking, “What needs to change?”Sometimes faith means praying. Sometimes it means resting. Sometimes it means speaking up. Sometimes it means accepting help. And sometimes it means going back to the doctor and saying, “Something is not right.”A different understanding of strengthPerhaps we need to redefine what strength looks like for people living with SCD.Strength is not always smiling. Sometimes strength is saying, “I am tired.” Sometimes it is asking someone to help. Sometimes it is setting a boundary.Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. But faith should not require pretending.The Bible itself does not hide human suffering. The Psalms contain expressions of fear, loneliness, grief and desperation alongside declarations of faith. Job questioned what was happening to him. Jesus wept.These were not signs that faith had disappeared.Perhaps spiritual maturity is not about suppressing difficult emotions. Perhaps it is being able to bring those emotions honestly before God.Sometimes faith sounds triumphant. At other times, faith may simply say: “This is very difficult, but I am still holding on.” That is faith too.When everybody expects you to cope, admitting that you are struggling can become difficult. You may begin protecting other people from the reality of your illness. You say, “I’m fine,” when you are exhausted. You smile because explaining everything feels like too much work. You attend an event when your body is telling you to rest.You reassure everybody else while privately wondering how much longer you can keep going.There should be room for vulnerability in SCD. Being resilient does not mean being unaffected.Hope and pain can exist togetherOne lesson chronic illness teaches us is that apparently contradictory emotions can exist at the same time.I can be grateful for my life and still be frustrated by what SCD has taken from me.I can believe tomorrow will be better and still admit that today is difficult.I can have faith and still have questions.I can laugh with friends and later cry because I am tired.None of these things cancels the other. This is where I believe genuine positivity differs from toxic positivity.Related News10 bodies recovered after toxic fume incident in RiversTrafficker lures, sells 15 Nasarawa childrenNSCDC arrests personnel over claims of sale of service riflesGenuine positivity makes room for reality. It does not tell someone that they should not feel sad. It sits beside them in their sadness while reminding them that sadness is not necessarily the end of their story.Sometimes listening is enoughWhen someone tells us that they are struggling, our instinct is often to fix it. But not every painful experience has an immediate solution.Instead of saying, “Stay positive,” perhaps we could say:“Tell me how you are feeling.” Instead of, “Don’t worry,” we could ask: “What are you worried about?”Instead of immediately telling someone how strong they are, we might say: “I’m here. Tell me what you need.”Positivity should never replace actionThere is another reason we need to be careful about toxic positivity. Sometimes a problem needs more than encouragement.If someone with SCD is repeatedly experiencing poor healthcare, telling them to remain positive does not address the problem.If someone is emotionally overwhelmed, they may need appropriate psychological or professional support, as well as encouragement and prayer.If pain is changing, worsening or becoming difficult to manage, it needs appropriate medical attention.Hope should never prevent us from asking, “What needs to change?”Sometimes faith means praying. Sometimes it means resting. Sometimes it means speaking up. Sometimes it means accepting help. And sometimes it means going back to the doctor and saying, “Something is not right.”A different understanding of strengthPerhaps we need to redefine what strength looks like for people living with SCD.Strength is not always smiling. Sometimes strength is saying, “I am tired.” Sometimes it is asking someone to help. Sometimes it is setting a boundary.Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. The Bible itself does not hide human suffering. The Psalms contain expressions of fear, loneliness, grief and desperation alongside declarations of faith. Job questioned what was happening to him. Jesus wept.These were not signs that faith had disappeared.Perhaps spiritual maturity is not about suppressing difficult emotions. Perhaps it is being able to bring those emotions honestly before God.Sometimes faith sounds triumphant. At other times, faith may simply say: “This is very difficult, but I am still holding on.” That is faith too.When everybody expects you to cope, admitting that you are struggling can become difficult. You may begin protecting other people from the reality of your illness. You say, “I’m fine,” when you are exhausted. You smile because explaining everything feels like too much work. You attend an event when your body is telling you to rest.You reassure everybody else while privately wondering how much longer you can keep going.There should be room for vulnerability in SCD. Being resilient does not mean being unaffected.Hope and pain can exist togetherOne lesson chronic illness teaches us is that apparently contradictory emotions can exist at the same time.I can be grateful for my life and still be frustrated by what SCD has taken from me.I can believe tomorrow will be better and still admit that today is difficult.I can have faith and still have questions.I can laugh with friends and later cry because I am tired.None of these things cancels the other. This is where I believe genuine positivity differs from toxic positivity.Related News10 bodies recovered after toxic fume incident in RiversTrafficker lures, sells 15 Nasarawa childrenNSCDC arrests personnel over claims of sale of service riflesGenuine positivity makes room for reality. It does not tell someone that they should not feel sad. It sits beside them in their sadness while reminding them that sadness is not necessarily the end of their story.Sometimes listening is enoughWhen someone tells us that they are struggling, our instinct is often to fix it. But not every painful experience has an immediate solution.Instead of saying, “Stay positive,” perhaps we could say:“Tell me how you are feeling.” Instead of, “Don’t worry,” we could ask: “What are you worried about?”Instead of immediately telling someone how strong they are, we might say: “I’m here. Tell me what you need.”Positivity should never replace actionThere is another reason we need to be careful about toxic positivity. Sometimes a problem needs more than encouragement.If someone with SCD is repeatedly experiencing poor healthcare, telling them to remain positive does not address the problem.If someone is emotionally overwhelmed, they may need appropriate psychological or professional support, as well as encouragement and prayer.If pain is changing, worsening or becoming difficult to manage, it needs appropriate medical attention.Hope should never prevent us from asking, “What needs to change?”Sometimes faith means praying. Sometimes it means resting. Sometimes it means speaking up. Sometimes it means accepting help. And sometimes it means going back to the doctor and saying, “Something is not right.”A different understanding of strengthPerhaps we need to redefine what strength looks like for people living with SCD.Strength is not always smiling. Sometimes strength is saying, “I am tired.” Sometimes it is asking someone to help. Sometimes it is setting a boundary.Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. These were not signs that faith had disappeared.Perhaps spiritual maturity is not about suppressing difficult emotions. Perhaps it is being able to bring those emotions honestly before God.Sometimes faith sounds triumphant. At other times, faith may simply say: “This is very difficult, but I am still holding on.” That is faith too.When everybody expects you to cope, admitting that you are struggling can become difficult. You may begin protecting other people from the reality of your illness. You say, “I’m fine,” when you are exhausted. You smile because explaining everything feels like too much work. You attend an event when your body is telling you to rest.You reassure everybody else while privately wondering how much longer you can keep going.There should be room for vulnerability in SCD. Being resilient does not mean being unaffected.Hope and pain can exist togetherOne lesson chronic illness teaches us is that apparently contradictory emotions can exist at the same time.I can be grateful for my life and still be frustrated by what SCD has taken from me.I can believe tomorrow will be better and still admit that today is difficult.I can have faith and still have questions.I can laugh with friends and later cry because I am tired.None of these things cancels the other. This is where I believe genuine positivity differs from toxic positivity.Related News10 bodies recovered after toxic fume incident in RiversTrafficker lures, sells 15 Nasarawa childrenNSCDC arrests personnel over claims of sale of service riflesGenuine positivity makes room for reality. It does not tell someone that they should not feel sad. It sits beside them in their sadness while reminding them that sadness is not necessarily the end of their story.Sometimes listening is enoughWhen someone tells us that they are struggling, our instinct is often to fix it. But not every painful experience has an immediate solution.Instead of saying, “Stay positive,” perhaps we could say:“Tell me how you are feeling.” Instead of, “Don’t worry,” we could ask: “What are you worried about?”Instead of immediately telling someone how strong they are, we might say: “I’m here. Tell me what you need.”Positivity should never replace actionThere is another reason we need to be careful about toxic positivity. Sometimes a problem needs more than encouragement.If someone with SCD is repeatedly experiencing poor healthcare, telling them to remain positive does not address the problem.If someone is emotionally overwhelmed, they may need appropriate psychological or professional support, as well as encouragement and prayer.If pain is changing, worsening or becoming difficult to manage, it needs appropriate medical attention.Hope should never prevent us from asking, “What needs to change?”Sometimes faith means praying. Sometimes it means resting. Sometimes it means speaking up. Sometimes it means accepting help. And sometimes it means going back to the doctor and saying, “Something is not right.”A different understanding of strengthPerhaps we need to redefine what strength looks like for people living with SCD.Strength is not always smiling. Sometimes strength is saying, “I am tired.” Sometimes it is asking someone to help. Sometimes it is setting a boundary.Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. Perhaps spiritual maturity is not about suppressing difficult emotions. Perhaps it is being able to bring those emotions honestly before God.Sometimes faith sounds triumphant. At other times, faith may simply say: “This is very difficult, but I am still holding on.” That is faith too.When everybody expects you to cope, admitting that you are struggling can become difficult. You may begin protecting other people from the reality of your illness. You say, “I’m fine,” when you are exhausted. You smile because explaining everything feels like too much work. You attend an event when your body is telling you to rest.You reassure everybody else while privately wondering how much longer you can keep going.There should be room for vulnerability in SCD. Being resilient does not mean being unaffected.Hope and pain can exist togetherOne lesson chronic illness teaches us is that apparently contradictory emotions can exist at the same time.I can be grateful for my life and still be frustrated by what SCD has taken from me.I can believe tomorrow will be better and still admit that today is difficult.I can have faith and still have questions.I can laugh with friends and later cry because I am tired.None of these things cancels the other. This is where I believe genuine positivity differs from toxic positivity.Related News10 bodies recovered after toxic fume incident in RiversTrafficker lures, sells 15 Nasarawa childrenNSCDC arrests personnel over claims of sale of service riflesGenuine positivity makes room for reality. It does not tell someone that they should not feel sad. It sits beside them in their sadness while reminding them that sadness is not necessarily the end of their story.Sometimes listening is enoughWhen someone tells us that they are struggling, our instinct is often to fix it. But not every painful experience has an immediate solution.Instead of saying, “Stay positive,” perhaps we could say:“Tell me how you are feeling.” Instead of, “Don’t worry,” we could ask: “What are you worried about?”Instead of immediately telling someone how strong they are, we might say: “I’m here. Tell me what you need.”Positivity should never replace actionThere is another reason we need to be careful about toxic positivity. Sometimes a problem needs more than encouragement.If someone with SCD is repeatedly experiencing poor healthcare, telling them to remain positive does not address the problem.If someone is emotionally overwhelmed, they may need appropriate psychological or professional support, as well as encouragement and prayer.If pain is changing, worsening or becoming difficult to manage, it needs appropriate medical attention.Hope should never prevent us from asking, “What needs to change?”Sometimes faith means praying. Sometimes it means resting. Sometimes it means speaking up. Sometimes it means accepting help. And sometimes it means going back to the doctor and saying, “Something is not right.”A different understanding of strengthPerhaps we need to redefine what strength looks like for people living with SCD.Strength is not always smiling. Sometimes strength is saying, “I am tired.” Sometimes it is asking someone to help. Sometimes it is setting a boundary.Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. Sometimes faith sounds triumphant. At other times, faith may simply say: “This is very difficult, but I am still holding on.” That is faith too.When everybody expects you to cope, admitting that you are struggling can become difficult. You may begin protecting other people from the reality of your illness. You say, “I’m fine,” when you are exhausted. You smile because explaining everything feels like too much work. You attend an event when your body is telling you to rest.You reassure everybody else while privately wondering how much longer you can keep going.There should be room for vulnerability in SCD. Being resilient does not mean being unaffected.Hope and pain can exist togetherOne lesson chronic illness teaches us is that apparently contradictory emotions can exist at the same time.I can be grateful for my life and still be frustrated by what SCD has taken from me.I can believe tomorrow will be better and still admit that today is difficult.I can have faith and still have questions.I can laugh with friends and later cry because I am tired.None of these things cancels the other. This is where I believe genuine positivity differs from toxic positivity.Related News10 bodies recovered after toxic fume incident in RiversTrafficker lures, sells 15 Nasarawa childrenNSCDC arrests personnel over claims of sale of service riflesGenuine positivity makes room for reality. It does not tell someone that they should not feel sad. It sits beside them in their sadness while reminding them that sadness is not necessarily the end of their story.Sometimes listening is enoughWhen someone tells us that they are struggling, our instinct is often to fix it. But not every painful experience has an immediate solution.Instead of saying, “Stay positive,” perhaps we could say:“Tell me how you are feeling.” Instead of, “Don’t worry,” we could ask: “What are you worried about?”Instead of immediately telling someone how strong they are, we might say: “I’m here. Tell me what you need.”Positivity should never replace actionThere is another reason we need to be careful about toxic positivity. Sometimes a problem needs more than encouragement.If someone with SCD is repeatedly experiencing poor healthcare, telling them to remain positive does not address the problem.If someone is emotionally overwhelmed, they may need appropriate psychological or professional support, as well as encouragement and prayer.If pain is changing, worsening or becoming difficult to manage, it needs appropriate medical attention.Hope should never prevent us from asking, “What needs to change?”Sometimes faith means praying. Sometimes it means resting. Sometimes it means speaking up. Sometimes it means accepting help. And sometimes it means going back to the doctor and saying, “Something is not right.”A different understanding of strengthPerhaps we need to redefine what strength looks like for people living with SCD.Strength is not always smiling. Sometimes strength is saying, “I am tired.” Sometimes it is asking someone to help. Sometimes it is setting a boundary.Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. When everybody expects you to cope, admitting that you are struggling can become difficult. You may begin protecting other people from the reality of your illness. You say, “I’m fine,” when you are exhausted. You smile because explaining everything feels like too much work. You attend an event when your body is telling you to rest.You reassure everybody else while privately wondering how much longer you can keep going.There should be room for vulnerability in SCD. Being resilient does not mean being unaffected.Hope and pain can exist togetherOne lesson chronic illness teaches us is that apparently contradictory emotions can exist at the same time.I can be grateful for my life and still be frustrated by what SCD has taken from me.I can believe tomorrow will be better and still admit that today is difficult.I can have faith and still have questions.I can laugh with friends and later cry because I am tired.None of these things cancels the other. This is where I believe genuine positivity differs from toxic positivity.Related News10 bodies recovered after toxic fume incident in RiversTrafficker lures, sells 15 Nasarawa childrenNSCDC arrests personnel over claims of sale of service riflesGenuine positivity makes room for reality. It does not tell someone that they should not feel sad. It sits beside them in their sadness while reminding them that sadness is not necessarily the end of their story.Sometimes listening is enoughWhen someone tells us that they are struggling, our instinct is often to fix it. But not every painful experience has an immediate solution.Instead of saying, “Stay positive,” perhaps we could say:“Tell me how you are feeling.” Instead of, “Don’t worry,” we could ask: “What are you worried about?”Instead of immediately telling someone how strong they are, we might say: “I’m here. Tell me what you need.”Positivity should never replace actionThere is another reason we need to be careful about toxic positivity. Sometimes a problem needs more than encouragement.If someone with SCD is repeatedly experiencing poor healthcare, telling them to remain positive does not address the problem.If someone is emotionally overwhelmed, they may need appropriate psychological or professional support, as well as encouragement and prayer.If pain is changing, worsening or becoming difficult to manage, it needs appropriate medical attention.Hope should never prevent us from asking, “What needs to change?”Sometimes faith means praying. Sometimes it means resting. Sometimes it means speaking up. Sometimes it means accepting help. And sometimes it means going back to the doctor and saying, “Something is not right.”A different understanding of strengthPerhaps we need to redefine what strength looks like for people living with SCD.Strength is not always smiling. Sometimes strength is saying, “I am tired.” Sometimes it is asking someone to help. Sometimes it is setting a boundary.Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. You reassure everybody else while privately wondering how much longer you can keep going.There should be room for vulnerability in SCD. Being resilient does not mean being unaffected.Hope and pain can exist togetherOne lesson chronic illness teaches us is that apparently contradictory emotions can exist at the same time.I can be grateful for my life and still be frustrated by what SCD has taken from me.I can believe tomorrow will be better and still admit that today is difficult.I can have faith and still have questions.I can laugh with friends and later cry because I am tired.None of these things cancels the other. This is where I believe genuine positivity differs from toxic positivity.Related News10 bodies recovered after toxic fume incident in RiversTrafficker lures, sells 15 Nasarawa childrenNSCDC arrests personnel over claims of sale of service riflesGenuine positivity makes room for reality. It does not tell someone that they should not feel sad. It sits beside them in their sadness while reminding them that sadness is not necessarily the end of their story.Sometimes listening is enoughWhen someone tells us that they are struggling, our instinct is often to fix it. But not every painful experience has an immediate solution.Instead of saying, “Stay positive,” perhaps we could say:“Tell me how you are feeling.” Instead of, “Don’t worry,” we could ask: “What are you worried about?”Instead of immediately telling someone how strong they are, we might say: “I’m here. Tell me what you need.”Positivity should never replace actionThere is another reason we need to be careful about toxic positivity. Sometimes a problem needs more than encouragement.If someone with SCD is repeatedly experiencing poor healthcare, telling them to remain positive does not address the problem.If someone is emotionally overwhelmed, they may need appropriate psychological or professional support, as well as encouragement and prayer.If pain is changing, worsening or becoming difficult to manage, it needs appropriate medical attention.Hope should never prevent us from asking, “What needs to change?”Sometimes faith means praying. Sometimes it means resting. Sometimes it means speaking up. Sometimes it means accepting help. And sometimes it means going back to the doctor and saying, “Something is not right.”A different understanding of strengthPerhaps we need to redefine what strength looks like for people living with SCD.Strength is not always smiling. Sometimes strength is saying, “I am tired.” Sometimes it is asking someone to help. Sometimes it is setting a boundary.Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. There should be room for vulnerability in SCD. Being resilient does not mean being unaffected.Hope and pain can exist togetherOne lesson chronic illness teaches us is that apparently contradictory emotions can exist at the same time.I can be grateful for my life and still be frustrated by what SCD has taken from me.I can believe tomorrow will be better and still admit that today is difficult.I can have faith and still have questions.I can laugh with friends and later cry because I am tired.None of these things cancels the other. This is where I believe genuine positivity differs from toxic positivity.Related News10 bodies recovered after toxic fume incident in RiversTrafficker lures, sells 15 Nasarawa childrenNSCDC arrests personnel over claims of sale of service riflesGenuine positivity makes room for reality. It does not tell someone that they should not feel sad. It sits beside them in their sadness while reminding them that sadness is not necessarily the end of their story.Sometimes listening is enoughWhen someone tells us that they are struggling, our instinct is often to fix it. But not every painful experience has an immediate solution.Instead of saying, “Stay positive,” perhaps we could say:“Tell me how you are feeling.” Instead of, “Don’t worry,” we could ask: “What are you worried about?”Instead of immediately telling someone how strong they are, we might say: “I’m here. Tell me what you need.”Positivity should never replace actionThere is another reason we need to be careful about toxic positivity. Sometimes a problem needs more than encouragement.If someone with SCD is repeatedly experiencing poor healthcare, telling them to remain positive does not address the problem.If someone is emotionally overwhelmed, they may need appropriate psychological or professional support, as well as encouragement and prayer.If pain is changing, worsening or becoming difficult to manage, it needs appropriate medical attention.Hope should never prevent us from asking, “What needs to change?”Sometimes faith means praying. Sometimes it means resting. Sometimes it means speaking up. Sometimes it means accepting help. And sometimes it means going back to the doctor and saying, “Something is not right.”A different understanding of strengthPerhaps we need to redefine what strength looks like for people living with SCD.Strength is not always smiling. Sometimes strength is saying, “I am tired.” Sometimes it is asking someone to help. Sometimes it is setting a boundary.Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. Hope and pain can exist togetherOne lesson chronic illness teaches us is that apparently contradictory emotions can exist at the same time.I can be grateful for my life and still be frustrated by what SCD has taken from me.I can believe tomorrow will be better and still admit that today is difficult.I can have faith and still have questions.I can laugh with friends and later cry because I am tired.None of these things cancels the other. This is where I believe genuine positivity differs from toxic positivity.Related News10 bodies recovered after toxic fume incident in RiversTrafficker lures, sells 15 Nasarawa childrenNSCDC arrests personnel over claims of sale of service riflesGenuine positivity makes room for reality. It does not tell someone that they should not feel sad. It sits beside them in their sadness while reminding them that sadness is not necessarily the end of their story.Sometimes listening is enoughWhen someone tells us that they are struggling, our instinct is often to fix it. But not every painful experience has an immediate solution.Instead of saying, “Stay positive,” perhaps we could say:“Tell me how you are feeling.” Instead of, “Don’t worry,” we could ask: “What are you worried about?”Instead of immediately telling someone how strong they are, we might say: “I’m here. Tell me what you need.”Positivity should never replace actionThere is another reason we need to be careful about toxic positivity. Sometimes a problem needs more than encouragement.If someone with SCD is repeatedly experiencing poor healthcare, telling them to remain positive does not address the problem.If someone is emotionally overwhelmed, they may need appropriate psychological or professional support, as well as encouragement and prayer.If pain is changing, worsening or becoming difficult to manage, it needs appropriate medical attention.Hope should never prevent us from asking, “What needs to change?”Sometimes faith means praying. Sometimes it means resting. Sometimes it means speaking up. Sometimes it means accepting help. And sometimes it means going back to the doctor and saying, “Something is not right.”A different understanding of strengthPerhaps we need to redefine what strength looks like for people living with SCD.Strength is not always smiling. Sometimes strength is saying, “I am tired.” Sometimes it is asking someone to help. Sometimes it is setting a boundary.Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. One lesson chronic illness teaches us is that apparently contradictory emotions can exist at the same time.I can be grateful for my life and still be frustrated by what SCD has taken from me.I can believe tomorrow will be better and still admit that today is difficult.I can have faith and still have questions.I can laugh with friends and later cry because I am tired.None of these things cancels the other. This is where I believe genuine positivity differs from toxic positivity.Related News10 bodies recovered after toxic fume incident in RiversTrafficker lures, sells 15 Nasarawa childrenNSCDC arrests personnel over claims of sale of service riflesGenuine positivity makes room for reality. It does not tell someone that they should not feel sad. It sits beside them in their sadness while reminding them that sadness is not necessarily the end of their story.Sometimes listening is enoughWhen someone tells us that they are struggling, our instinct is often to fix it. But not every painful experience has an immediate solution.Instead of saying, “Stay positive,” perhaps we could say:“Tell me how you are feeling.” Instead of, “Don’t worry,” we could ask: “What are you worried about?”Instead of immediately telling someone how strong they are, we might say: “I’m here. Tell me what you need.”Positivity should never replace actionThere is another reason we need to be careful about toxic positivity. Sometimes a problem needs more than encouragement.If someone with SCD is repeatedly experiencing poor healthcare, telling them to remain positive does not address the problem.If someone is emotionally overwhelmed, they may need appropriate psychological or professional support, as well as encouragement and prayer.If pain is changing, worsening or becoming difficult to manage, it needs appropriate medical attention.Hope should never prevent us from asking, “What needs to change?”Sometimes faith means praying. Sometimes it means resting. Sometimes it means speaking up. Sometimes it means accepting help. And sometimes it means going back to the doctor and saying, “Something is not right.”A different understanding of strengthPerhaps we need to redefine what strength looks like for people living with SCD.Strength is not always smiling. Sometimes strength is saying, “I am tired.” Sometimes it is asking someone to help. Sometimes it is setting a boundary.Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. I can be grateful for my life and still be frustrated by what SCD has taken from me.I can believe tomorrow will be better and still admit that today is difficult.I can have faith and still have questions.I can laugh with friends and later cry because I am tired.None of these things cancels the other. This is where I believe genuine positivity differs from toxic positivity.Related News10 bodies recovered after toxic fume incident in RiversTrafficker lures, sells 15 Nasarawa childrenNSCDC arrests personnel over claims of sale of service riflesGenuine positivity makes room for reality. It does not tell someone that they should not feel sad. It sits beside them in their sadness while reminding them that sadness is not necessarily the end of their story.Sometimes listening is enoughWhen someone tells us that they are struggling, our instinct is often to fix it. But not every painful experience has an immediate solution.Instead of saying, “Stay positive,” perhaps we could say:“Tell me how you are feeling.” Instead of, “Don’t worry,” we could ask: “What are you worried about?”Instead of immediately telling someone how strong they are, we might say: “I’m here. Tell me what you need.”Positivity should never replace actionThere is another reason we need to be careful about toxic positivity. Sometimes a problem needs more than encouragement.If someone with SCD is repeatedly experiencing poor healthcare, telling them to remain positive does not address the problem.If someone is emotionally overwhelmed, they may need appropriate psychological or professional support, as well as encouragement and prayer.If pain is changing, worsening or becoming difficult to manage, it needs appropriate medical attention.Hope should never prevent us from asking, “What needs to change?”Sometimes faith means praying. Sometimes it means resting. Sometimes it means speaking up. Sometimes it means accepting help. And sometimes it means going back to the doctor and saying, “Something is not right.”A different understanding of strengthPerhaps we need to redefine what strength looks like for people living with SCD.Strength is not always smiling. Sometimes strength is saying, “I am tired.” Sometimes it is asking someone to help. Sometimes it is setting a boundary.Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. I can believe tomorrow will be better and still admit that today is difficult.I can have faith and still have questions.I can laugh with friends and later cry because I am tired.None of these things cancels the other. This is where I believe genuine positivity differs from toxic positivity.Related News10 bodies recovered after toxic fume incident in RiversTrafficker lures, sells 15 Nasarawa childrenNSCDC arrests personnel over claims of sale of service riflesGenuine positivity makes room for reality. It does not tell someone that they should not feel sad. It sits beside them in their sadness while reminding them that sadness is not necessarily the end of their story.Sometimes listening is enoughWhen someone tells us that they are struggling, our instinct is often to fix it. But not every painful experience has an immediate solution.Instead of saying, “Stay positive,” perhaps we could say:“Tell me how you are feeling.” Instead of, “Don’t worry,” we could ask: “What are you worried about?”Instead of immediately telling someone how strong they are, we might say: “I’m here. Tell me what you need.”Positivity should never replace actionThere is another reason we need to be careful about toxic positivity. Sometimes a problem needs more than encouragement.If someone with SCD is repeatedly experiencing poor healthcare, telling them to remain positive does not address the problem.If someone is emotionally overwhelmed, they may need appropriate psychological or professional support, as well as encouragement and prayer.If pain is changing, worsening or becoming difficult to manage, it needs appropriate medical attention.Hope should never prevent us from asking, “What needs to change?”Sometimes faith means praying. Sometimes it means resting. Sometimes it means speaking up. Sometimes it means accepting help. And sometimes it means going back to the doctor and saying, “Something is not right.”A different understanding of strengthPerhaps we need to redefine what strength looks like for people living with SCD.Strength is not always smiling. Sometimes strength is saying, “I am tired.” Sometimes it is asking someone to help. Sometimes it is setting a boundary.Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. I can have faith and still have questions.I can laugh with friends and later cry because I am tired.None of these things cancels the other. This is where I believe genuine positivity differs from toxic positivity.Related News10 bodies recovered after toxic fume incident in RiversTrafficker lures, sells 15 Nasarawa childrenNSCDC arrests personnel over claims of sale of service riflesGenuine positivity makes room for reality. It does not tell someone that they should not feel sad. It sits beside them in their sadness while reminding them that sadness is not necessarily the end of their story.Sometimes listening is enoughWhen someone tells us that they are struggling, our instinct is often to fix it. But not every painful experience has an immediate solution.Instead of saying, “Stay positive,” perhaps we could say:“Tell me how you are feeling.” Instead of, “Don’t worry,” we could ask: “What are you worried about?”Instead of immediately telling someone how strong they are, we might say: “I’m here. Tell me what you need.”Positivity should never replace actionThere is another reason we need to be careful about toxic positivity. Sometimes a problem needs more than encouragement.If someone with SCD is repeatedly experiencing poor healthcare, telling them to remain positive does not address the problem.If someone is emotionally overwhelmed, they may need appropriate psychological or professional support, as well as encouragement and prayer.If pain is changing, worsening or becoming difficult to manage, it needs appropriate medical attention.Hope should never prevent us from asking, “What needs to change?”Sometimes faith means praying. Sometimes it means resting. Sometimes it means speaking up. Sometimes it means accepting help. And sometimes it means going back to the doctor and saying, “Something is not right.”A different understanding of strengthPerhaps we need to redefine what strength looks like for people living with SCD.Strength is not always smiling. Sometimes strength is saying, “I am tired.” Sometimes it is asking someone to help. Sometimes it is setting a boundary.Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. I can laugh with friends and later cry because I am tired.None of these things cancels the other. This is where I believe genuine positivity differs from toxic positivity.Related News10 bodies recovered after toxic fume incident in RiversTrafficker lures, sells 15 Nasarawa childrenNSCDC arrests personnel over claims of sale of service riflesGenuine positivity makes room for reality. It does not tell someone that they should not feel sad. It sits beside them in their sadness while reminding them that sadness is not necessarily the end of their story.Sometimes listening is enoughWhen someone tells us that they are struggling, our instinct is often to fix it. But not every painful experience has an immediate solution.Instead of saying, “Stay positive,” perhaps we could say:“Tell me how you are feeling.” Instead of, “Don’t worry,” we could ask: “What are you worried about?”Instead of immediately telling someone how strong they are, we might say: “I’m here. Tell me what you need.”Positivity should never replace actionThere is another reason we need to be careful about toxic positivity. Sometimes a problem needs more than encouragement.If someone with SCD is repeatedly experiencing poor healthcare, telling them to remain positive does not address the problem.If someone is emotionally overwhelmed, they may need appropriate psychological or professional support, as well as encouragement and prayer.If pain is changing, worsening or becoming difficult to manage, it needs appropriate medical attention.Hope should never prevent us from asking, “What needs to change?”Sometimes faith means praying. Sometimes it means resting. Sometimes it means speaking up. Sometimes it means accepting help. And sometimes it means going back to the doctor and saying, “Something is not right.”A different understanding of strengthPerhaps we need to redefine what strength looks like for people living with SCD.Strength is not always smiling. Sometimes strength is saying, “I am tired.” Sometimes it is asking someone to help. Sometimes it is setting a boundary.Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. None of these things cancels the other. This is where I believe genuine positivity differs from toxic positivity.Related News10 bodies recovered after toxic fume incident in RiversTrafficker lures, sells 15 Nasarawa childrenNSCDC arrests personnel over claims of sale of service riflesGenuine positivity makes room for reality. It does not tell someone that they should not feel sad. It sits beside them in their sadness while reminding them that sadness is not necessarily the end of their story.Sometimes listening is enoughWhen someone tells us that they are struggling, our instinct is often to fix it. But not every painful experience has an immediate solution.Instead of saying, “Stay positive,” perhaps we could say:“Tell me how you are feeling.” Instead of, “Don’t worry,” we could ask: “What are you worried about?”Instead of immediately telling someone how strong they are, we might say: “I’m here. Tell me what you need.”Positivity should never replace actionThere is another reason we need to be careful about toxic positivity. Sometimes a problem needs more than encouragement.If someone with SCD is repeatedly experiencing poor healthcare, telling them to remain positive does not address the problem.If someone is emotionally overwhelmed, they may need appropriate psychological or professional support, as well as encouragement and prayer.If pain is changing, worsening or becoming difficult to manage, it needs appropriate medical attention.Hope should never prevent us from asking, “What needs to change?”Sometimes faith means praying. Sometimes it means resting. Sometimes it means speaking up. Sometimes it means accepting help. And sometimes it means going back to the doctor and saying, “Something is not right.”A different understanding of strengthPerhaps we need to redefine what strength looks like for people living with SCD.Strength is not always smiling. Sometimes strength is saying, “I am tired.” Sometimes it is asking someone to help. Sometimes it is setting a boundary.Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. Genuine positivity makes room for reality. It does not tell someone that they should not feel sad. It sits beside them in their sadness while reminding them that sadness is not necessarily the end of their story.Sometimes listening is enoughWhen someone tells us that they are struggling, our instinct is often to fix it. But not every painful experience has an immediate solution.Instead of saying, “Stay positive,” perhaps we could say:“Tell me how you are feeling.” Instead of, “Don’t worry,” we could ask: “What are you worried about?”Instead of immediately telling someone how strong they are, we might say: “I’m here. Tell me what you need.”Positivity should never replace actionThere is another reason we need to be careful about toxic positivity. Sometimes a problem needs more than encouragement.If someone with SCD is repeatedly experiencing poor healthcare, telling them to remain positive does not address the problem.If someone is emotionally overwhelmed, they may need appropriate psychological or professional support, as well as encouragement and prayer.If pain is changing, worsening or becoming difficult to manage, it needs appropriate medical attention.Hope should never prevent us from asking, “What needs to change?”Sometimes faith means praying. Sometimes it means resting. Sometimes it means speaking up. Sometimes it means accepting help. And sometimes it means going back to the doctor and saying, “Something is not right.”A different understanding of strengthPerhaps we need to redefine what strength looks like for people living with SCD.Strength is not always smiling. Sometimes strength is saying, “I am tired.” Sometimes it is asking someone to help. Sometimes it is setting a boundary.Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. Sometimes listening is enoughWhen someone tells us that they are struggling, our instinct is often to fix it. But not every painful experience has an immediate solution.Instead of saying, “Stay positive,” perhaps we could say:“Tell me how you are feeling.” Instead of, “Don’t worry,” we could ask: “What are you worried about?”Instead of immediately telling someone how strong they are, we might say: “I’m here. Tell me what you need.”Positivity should never replace actionThere is another reason we need to be careful about toxic positivity. Sometimes a problem needs more than encouragement.If someone with SCD is repeatedly experiencing poor healthcare, telling them to remain positive does not address the problem.If someone is emotionally overwhelmed, they may need appropriate psychological or professional support, as well as encouragement and prayer.If pain is changing, worsening or becoming difficult to manage, it needs appropriate medical attention.Hope should never prevent us from asking, “What needs to change?”Sometimes faith means praying. Sometimes it means resting. Sometimes it means speaking up. Sometimes it means accepting help. And sometimes it means going back to the doctor and saying, “Something is not right.”A different understanding of strengthPerhaps we need to redefine what strength looks like for people living with SCD.Strength is not always smiling. Sometimes strength is saying, “I am tired.” Sometimes it is asking someone to help. Sometimes it is setting a boundary.Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. When someone tells us that they are struggling, our instinct is often to fix it. But not every painful experience has an immediate solution.Instead of saying, “Stay positive,” perhaps we could say:“Tell me how you are feeling.” Instead of, “Don’t worry,” we could ask: “What are you worried about?”Instead of immediately telling someone how strong they are, we might say: “I’m here. Tell me what you need.”Positivity should never replace actionThere is another reason we need to be careful about toxic positivity. Sometimes a problem needs more than encouragement.If someone with SCD is repeatedly experiencing poor healthcare, telling them to remain positive does not address the problem.If someone is emotionally overwhelmed, they may need appropriate psychological or professional support, as well as encouragement and prayer.If pain is changing, worsening or becoming difficult to manage, it needs appropriate medical attention.Hope should never prevent us from asking, “What needs to change?”Sometimes faith means praying. Sometimes it means resting. Sometimes it means speaking up. Sometimes it means accepting help. And sometimes it means going back to the doctor and saying, “Something is not right.”A different understanding of strengthPerhaps we need to redefine what strength looks like for people living with SCD.Strength is not always smiling. Sometimes strength is saying, “I am tired.” Sometimes it is asking someone to help. Sometimes it is setting a boundary.Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. Instead of saying, “Stay positive,” perhaps we could say:“Tell me how you are feeling.” Instead of, “Don’t worry,” we could ask: “What are you worried about?”Instead of immediately telling someone how strong they are, we might say: “I’m here. Tell me what you need.”Positivity should never replace actionThere is another reason we need to be careful about toxic positivity. Sometimes a problem needs more than encouragement.If someone with SCD is repeatedly experiencing poor healthcare, telling them to remain positive does not address the problem.If someone is emotionally overwhelmed, they may need appropriate psychological or professional support, as well as encouragement and prayer.If pain is changing, worsening or becoming difficult to manage, it needs appropriate medical attention.Hope should never prevent us from asking, “What needs to change?”Sometimes faith means praying. Sometimes it means resting. Sometimes it means speaking up. Sometimes it means accepting help. And sometimes it means going back to the doctor and saying, “Something is not right.”A different understanding of strengthPerhaps we need to redefine what strength looks like for people living with SCD.Strength is not always smiling. Sometimes strength is saying, “I am tired.” Sometimes it is asking someone to help. Sometimes it is setting a boundary.Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. “Tell me how you are feeling.” Instead of, “Don’t worry,” we could ask: “What are you worried about?”Instead of immediately telling someone how strong they are, we might say: “I’m here. Tell me what you need.”Positivity should never replace actionThere is another reason we need to be careful about toxic positivity. Sometimes a problem needs more than encouragement.If someone with SCD is repeatedly experiencing poor healthcare, telling them to remain positive does not address the problem.If someone is emotionally overwhelmed, they may need appropriate psychological or professional support, as well as encouragement and prayer.If pain is changing, worsening or becoming difficult to manage, it needs appropriate medical attention.Hope should never prevent us from asking, “What needs to change?”Sometimes faith means praying. Sometimes it means resting. Sometimes it means speaking up. Sometimes it means accepting help. And sometimes it means going back to the doctor and saying, “Something is not right.”A different understanding of strengthPerhaps we need to redefine what strength looks like for people living with SCD.Strength is not always smiling. Sometimes strength is saying, “I am tired.” Sometimes it is asking someone to help. Sometimes it is setting a boundary.Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. Instead of immediately telling someone how strong they are, we might say: “I’m here. Tell me what you need.”Positivity should never replace actionThere is another reason we need to be careful about toxic positivity. Sometimes a problem needs more than encouragement.If someone with SCD is repeatedly experiencing poor healthcare, telling them to remain positive does not address the problem.If someone is emotionally overwhelmed, they may need appropriate psychological or professional support, as well as encouragement and prayer.If pain is changing, worsening or becoming difficult to manage, it needs appropriate medical attention.Hope should never prevent us from asking, “What needs to change?”Sometimes faith means praying. Sometimes it means resting. Sometimes it means speaking up. Sometimes it means accepting help. And sometimes it means going back to the doctor and saying, “Something is not right.”A different understanding of strengthPerhaps we need to redefine what strength looks like for people living with SCD.Strength is not always smiling. Sometimes strength is saying, “I am tired.” Sometimes it is asking someone to help. Sometimes it is setting a boundary.Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. Positivity should never replace actionThere is another reason we need to be careful about toxic positivity. Sometimes a problem needs more than encouragement.If someone with SCD is repeatedly experiencing poor healthcare, telling them to remain positive does not address the problem.If someone is emotionally overwhelmed, they may need appropriate psychological or professional support, as well as encouragement and prayer.If pain is changing, worsening or becoming difficult to manage, it needs appropriate medical attention.Hope should never prevent us from asking, “What needs to change?”Sometimes faith means praying. Sometimes it means resting. Sometimes it means speaking up. Sometimes it means accepting help. And sometimes it means going back to the doctor and saying, “Something is not right.”A different understanding of strengthPerhaps we need to redefine what strength looks like for people living with SCD.Strength is not always smiling. Sometimes strength is saying, “I am tired.” Sometimes it is asking someone to help. Sometimes it is setting a boundary.Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. There is another reason we need to be careful about toxic positivity. Sometimes a problem needs more than encouragement.If someone with SCD is repeatedly experiencing poor healthcare, telling them to remain positive does not address the problem.If someone is emotionally overwhelmed, they may need appropriate psychological or professional support, as well as encouragement and prayer.If pain is changing, worsening or becoming difficult to manage, it needs appropriate medical attention.Hope should never prevent us from asking, “What needs to change?”Sometimes faith means praying. Sometimes it means resting. Sometimes it means speaking up. Sometimes it means accepting help. And sometimes it means going back to the doctor and saying, “Something is not right.”A different understanding of strengthPerhaps we need to redefine what strength looks like for people living with SCD.Strength is not always smiling. Sometimes strength is saying, “I am tired.” Sometimes it is asking someone to help. Sometimes it is setting a boundary.Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. If someone with SCD is repeatedly experiencing poor healthcare, telling them to remain positive does not address the problem.If someone is emotionally overwhelmed, they may need appropriate psychological or professional support, as well as encouragement and prayer.If pain is changing, worsening or becoming difficult to manage, it needs appropriate medical attention.Hope should never prevent us from asking, “What needs to change?”Sometimes faith means praying. Sometimes it means resting. Sometimes it means speaking up. Sometimes it means accepting help. And sometimes it means going back to the doctor and saying, “Something is not right.”A different understanding of strengthPerhaps we need to redefine what strength looks like for people living with SCD.Strength is not always smiling. Sometimes strength is saying, “I am tired.” Sometimes it is asking someone to help. Sometimes it is setting a boundary.Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. If someone is emotionally overwhelmed, they may need appropriate psychological or professional support, as well as encouragement and prayer.If pain is changing, worsening or becoming difficult to manage, it needs appropriate medical attention.Hope should never prevent us from asking, “What needs to change?”Sometimes faith means praying. Sometimes it means resting. Sometimes it means speaking up. Sometimes it means accepting help. And sometimes it means going back to the doctor and saying, “Something is not right.”A different understanding of strengthPerhaps we need to redefine what strength looks like for people living with SCD.Strength is not always smiling. Sometimes strength is saying, “I am tired.” Sometimes it is asking someone to help. Sometimes it is setting a boundary.Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. If pain is changing, worsening or becoming difficult to manage, it needs appropriate medical attention.Hope should never prevent us from asking, “What needs to change?”Sometimes faith means praying. Sometimes it means resting. Sometimes it means speaking up. Sometimes it means accepting help. And sometimes it means going back to the doctor and saying, “Something is not right.”A different understanding of strengthPerhaps we need to redefine what strength looks like for people living with SCD.Strength is not always smiling. Sometimes strength is saying, “I am tired.” Sometimes it is asking someone to help. Sometimes it is setting a boundary.Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. Hope should never prevent us from asking, “What needs to change?”Sometimes faith means praying. Sometimes it means resting. Sometimes it means speaking up. Sometimes it means accepting help. And sometimes it means going back to the doctor and saying, “Something is not right.”A different understanding of strengthPerhaps we need to redefine what strength looks like for people living with SCD.Strength is not always smiling. Sometimes strength is saying, “I am tired.” Sometimes it is asking someone to help. Sometimes it is setting a boundary.Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. Sometimes faith means praying. Sometimes it means resting. Sometimes it means speaking up. Sometimes it means accepting help. And sometimes it means going back to the doctor and saying, “Something is not right.”A different understanding of strengthPerhaps we need to redefine what strength looks like for people living with SCD.Strength is not always smiling. Sometimes strength is saying, “I am tired.” Sometimes it is asking someone to help. Sometimes it is setting a boundary.Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. A different understanding of strengthPerhaps we need to redefine what strength looks like for people living with SCD.Strength is not always smiling. Sometimes strength is saying, “I am tired.” Sometimes it is asking someone to help. Sometimes it is setting a boundary.Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. Perhaps we need to redefine what strength looks like for people living with SCD.Strength is not always smiling. Sometimes strength is saying, “I am tired.” Sometimes it is asking someone to help. Sometimes it is setting a boundary.Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. Strength is not always smiling. Sometimes strength is saying, “I am tired.” Sometimes it is asking someone to help. Sometimes it is setting a boundary.Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. Sometimes it is admitting that you are frightened. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to grieve what illness has changed. And sometimes it is simply getting through today.Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. Spiritual maturity does not mean denying pain. It means being truthful about pain without allowing pain to become the whole story.We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. We can have faith and still acknowledge suffering. We can be grateful and still grieve. We can pray and still seek medical care. We can hope and still have difficult days.Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. Perhaps, then, the most compassionate thing we can say to someone living with SCD is not always, “Stay positive.”Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. Sometimes it is: “You don’t have to pretend with me. Tell me how you really are.”And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. And then we listen.If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. If you would like to get in touch with me about sickle cell, do so via my email address:[email protected].And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. And do check out my blog: www.dailylivingwithsicklecell.com.My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com. My book on sickle cell, How to Live with Sickle Cell, and my other books are available for purchase on www.amazon.com.